As the Plain White T’s famously sang in their 2006 hit song Hate (I Really Don’t Like You), “hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don’t like you.” The aforementioned lyrics encapsulate the essence of how I feel about prewriting. I really, really, really don’t care for the prewriting process. I find it tedious to outline a paper and honestly a waste of time. I know that prewriting is more than just outlines, but overall I just am angered by it. As a future elementary school teacher, I understand the importance of understanding prewriting and teaching it to my students as it may work for them, however I know it does not work for me as a writer.
This being said, I am having a hard time starting my close reading draft. I normally just start writing and put my thoughts down to the page as I go, but I can’t even manage to pick out thoughts about The Turn of the Screw. I am thinking about writing about the moments in which the apparitions appear, but I really do not know. I think I have a classic case of overthinking things, which is hindering my ability to write anything at all. I also think that part of the reason I am struggling so much to even begin this paper is that I did not enjoy the book. It was annoying and predictable and reminded me too much of another novel I despise, Wuthering Heights (which may just mean that I despise 19th century ghost stories). I know I am a picky reader which in turn affects my ability to write about novels, especially when I did not care for the book I am supposed to write the paper on.
My draft needs to be peer reviewed in less than three days and honestly I’m debating re-reading The Awakening quickly and just using that for my paper instead. This would not be the first time I changed my mind on what I am writing about, as I ended up writing about all three of the essays during my AP Literature test because I couldn’t make a darn decision on which two I could best write about.
In summary, I hate prewriting. I can’t figure out how to start writing. I am terrible at making decisions. This is going to be an interesting semester.