Blog Post #15 : HELP!

Update from previous post: HELP!

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed over here. I have only one paper left to write (my reader response) and I have no clue where to start. I do not know what text to use or what angle I want to take. This paper will inevitably be written last minute, probably Sunday night after I get done with work at 7pm. I do not even want to think about this paper, but it has to be done. I am almost there. I just have to make it through the next week and a half and then I am free of the burdens of this class and this website will live happily on the internet, never to be looked at again, before it will be deleted by the college within the next year since I am graduating in May.

It seems a bit foolish to be putting so much time and effort into this website that after final grades are put in, it will cease to have any value. As a non-english major or minor, I have no one looking for or even interested in my writing as a college student after this class. Reader response critics examine the kinds of readers various texts seem to imply. The kind of reader that this website implies is an English professor or student. With that being said, I feel like I am being heavily judged on everything contained on this website with the preconceived notion that I should know what I am doing and that I should produce quality work, however I cannot help but feel unsatisfied with my work. I have done my best, but because of the individuals reading my papers, it might appear as though I am producing garbage. Everyone knows the saying “one man’s trash is another one’s treasure.” In the case of my writing it is almost a reversal as I treasure it and am proud of it, however someone with more expertise may view it as trash.

What I need the most help with at this point in the semester is time, something that I really do not have. I suppose I also need help understanding that my work is of value. I do not know if I will come to accept the aforementioned as being fully true by the time this course comes to a close, however I can work on creating a classroom environment that not only encourages my students to take pride in their work, but also connect the why. Why are we writing this? What purpose does this paper have? These are both very important questions that I have been grappling with as a student over the entirety of the semester. As a future English as a Second Language teacher, I need to explicitly present those questions and make it a point to follow through and answer the same questions by the time my students leave me.

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